“My Roadkill Art…. hmmmm! Yes, well… “
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My taxidermy projects are quite personal, and not really for sale. They do not form part of my general paid art work (community works or school projects) so I tend to keep these separate from each other. That said, I may take on a commission for a special person or idea if I have the time, as with the story of the testicle earrings!
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I usually exhibit my work at festivals, as part of a performance, or personally in my home (where-ever that may be) as a shamanic fetish/object with a specific purpose or meaning. Often these objects have a slightly dark sense of humour injected into them and a much deeper meaning than one might imagine.
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This short 5 minute film for Woodlands TV gives you a visual taster, lol.
“Tribal Arts and Cafts in the Woodlands” – Episode 6 of 6
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So… Yeah, the earrings, lol. It is quite a funny story and I was asked to tell it recently, so seeing as I had to type it out anyway, I thought I would stick it on here too.
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The story of the Testicle Earrings!
I was at a friend’s party in London few years ago and got talking to one of the other girls there that I had not met before. To be honest, I only knew two other people there. She was telling us about how her boyfriend had proposed recently. She had suffered a fidelity betrayal by her previous partner and was still furious and hurt that he had cheated on her. Afraid this might happen again with her new man, but wanting very much to marry him, she told him that she would only marry him if he agreed that if he ‘was’ ever unfaithful to her – she could “wear his bollocks for earrings!!”
He agreed. Thinking she was joking. They made a date to marry later that year in Las Vegas.
The group of friends laughed at the story, and joked that it would be funny to wear a pair of human testicle earrings for the wedding day, as a reminder of his promise, but that it would be impossible to buy a pair of real testicle earrings. I had been pretty quiet until this point when I said “I’ve got a spare pair of testicles!!”.
The group just stared at me with jaws dropping, and laughed. I laughed and said “No really, I have… some squirrel ones”. One of my friends then proceeded to tell the group that I was an artist, and about the kind of things I had made and how I lived my life. They were amazed. I was commissioned by the bride there and then to make her these earrings. I reassured her that they would not be hairy, lol.
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I set about making the earrings from the actual testicles, not the scrotum. I had saved them from a previous taxidermy project using a local roadkill casualty. Luckily squirrel testicles are quite large in comparison to the size of the animal so looked good as droplet ear adornments.
These little objects can be quite ‘oily’ when drying so the process took longer than anticipated. They were dried repeatedly and cured in salt for a long period of time, and then I sealed the remaining oil inside using a tough acrylic varnish. I try not to use heavy chemicals in my work. They were sprayed silver, varnished again, mounted in silver fittings and beautifully gift wrapped for the bride in time for the wedding.
The group of friends today still talk about the story. I hope I helped cure with humour a huge amount of suffering by a fellow sister, and make a sensitive issue easier to talk about for a young couple on the path to new relationship. I also hoped that it be a dark but humorous warning to the ‘love-rats’ out there that think cheating on your woman comes without consequences.
Best they be warned! We will have “your bollocks for earrings!”
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Geeeze Alison, I won’t get on the wrong side of you.. be my friend 🙂
Lucky I am not a squirrel,nor will ever be found by you as roadkill… but one thing in my favour is you’d have some explaining if mine ended up one of your two projects…. They are quite large…phew… 🙂
Cheers
Noel.
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I stumbled across your article and I am ecstatic! I am making a pair of cat testicle earrings for a friends wedding gift, and I need some help… Can you elaborate more on the process you used to “cure” the squirrel’s testicles. I’ve only tanned snake skins before. Thanks in advance!!!
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Hi Jamie!
How quick the curing happens depends on which bit of the testicle you use. In hindsight I would not have used the actual testicle as it took months to cure, i was sooo ‘oily’. Instead, if you can, use the scrotum.
The scrotum skin didn’t need scraping as it was so thin anyway, so I simply packed it full of salt and suspended it for a while to exaggerate the ‘saggy’ effect! The more salt you can get in the better. When it is cured the salt and skin will be bone dry, and you can just tip it out, then clean the inside with a soft paint brush. It should feel like an egg shell. At this point you can cut it in half, to create a ‘pair’ for the droplet earrings. Stuff with whatever you like, cotton wool or something a bit heavier like a ball bearing and dampen the edges of the skin you want to stitch together – alternatively, just glue the edges back together with Araldite or a hot glue-gun. Araldite Rapid will last longer.
Then you can attach whatever fitting you wish!!
I hope this helps! Will you let me know how it goes?
Waremest regards, Ali xxxxxxxxxxx
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Yes!! I will keep you updated!!! I’ll send you photos too!
Thanks again… ~Jamie
Sent from my Motorola ATRIX™ 4G on AT&T
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Hi there I am so grateful I found your web site, I really found you by error, while
I was browsing on Bing for something else, Anyhow I am here now and would just like to say thanks a
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That is soooo sweet, thank you. xxxxxxxx
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If only I’d discovered this post sooner. You could have “done” my testicles – I’m sure my ex-girlfriend would relish the opportunity to where my manhood on her ears. Unfortunately, when they got the snip, they disappeared into the hospital where ever body parts
go to be disposed of. Nonetheless, I am your eunuch for further projects; perhap something could be done with the scrotum which, sans balls, is just an empty sack. A purse, maybe?
\
~Your eunuch
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Thank you dear Eunuch, you gift is appreciated. Lol. I have yet to cure a human testicle sac; a have a goats sac purse still awaiting its finishing touches. I hear human skin is similar to pigs skin?
Regards
Alison
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where can i get a pair how much for a pair of these there amazing and i know someone that would love theses i know lady betrayed by many men and her catch phase to cruel me is ill have your knackers for earings
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Lol, I think many of us can relate to this story! As for ‘where’ I have no idea, I am the only person I know of thus far to have made a pair…. I have some spare testicles in the freezer but not much spare time to make them. If I were to make them they would cost in the region of £200. x
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That is very funny. I think I must’ve told a few men I’d take their bollocks for earrings over the years.
I usually settle for good hard knee to teach them a lesson instead. Sadly that doesn’t produce jewelery 🙂
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Do you prepare man balls, My, top?
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