A Wild Woman’s Joy at being able to DANCE again

after pelvic injury and birthing.

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tumbleweed-at-the-edge-of-a-sand-road-on-the-way-to-route-40-argentina

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“We Have Come To Be Danced”

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The year before I became pregnant I had a slight injury to my hip whilst out hiking in beautiful countryside.

Wasn’t that much of an injury I thought, but things got worse over the coming months, and, convinced that I had somehow manifested it myself and that my body would heal naturally, I did nothing about it.  In fact it took ages to relate the two together.  I continued to dance, despite the discomfort!

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Nine months after the injury I realised that hoping it would get better on its own was futile and I sought the help of a physiotherapist who confirmed that my pelvis had had an anterior rotation for sometime – no wonder I had been in considerable pain.  My pelvic floor had deteriorated and various muscles were not firing as they should.  Other muscles had taken over, my body was way out of balance and it needed much work, as did my self-esteem.  I was relieved to begin physical treatment.  It was an education to learn just how important it was to maintain flexibility and good posture.  For someone who was an enthusiastic dancer and considered herself pretty fit, I was shocked to lose my strength and mobility so quickly!

Only weeks after starting said treatment I found out (thanks to the ‘Cosmic Sock Monkey’, lol) that I was at last pregnant!  Whooohoooo!!  I was soooo happy!  We had been trying for so long!

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Unfortunately the NHS do not treat pregnant women, so my condition was left to deteriorate again until after the birth.  It got much, much worse.  I no longer danced.

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I still continued to enjoy life, we even bought a van in the States and did a huge road trip which included the iconic BURNING MAN festival, albeit at a more sedentary pace and constantly consciously aware of the unique little person growing inside me.

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We did everything we could to make his entrance into this world as easy, enjoyable and enlightening as possible.  We did a lot of reading together. We even moved areas to one that was less inclined to suggest elective caesareans and not be so fearful and protocol based.  I was thrilled to be so fecund, I was going to miss this feeling.

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Natural Birthing, Rites of Passage & Primal Behaviour.

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However, at the age of 42 pregnancy knocked the stuffing out of my body, despite being enchanted by my pregnancy.  I was finding it excruciating to walk, sit and sleep.  I found an amazing chiropractor who helped keep everything together while my body was flooded with the hormone ‘relaxin‘.  This hormone was not helping me stabilise my twisted, and now floppy pelvis.

Bernette Van Kal based in Harrogate at Montpellier Chiropractic, North Yorkshire is a miracle worker, was incredibly gentle and reassuring.  She continued to realign my body so that we could have the birth we wanted.

I can not thank Bernette enough, she has since become a close and cherished friend, and I managed to have a wonderful home-birth and beautiful son, Maximus.

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After being semi-disabled for nearly two years, I can at last dance (for a while) without pain.  I have made up for the lack of self-expression through movement by focusing on my other artistic practices.

Now, the worry and challenge of losing my mobility and being uncertain of its return has transformed how I want to move my body, especially in public – basically, I didn’t give much of a feck before, I care even less now what other people think.

I still have some degree of discomfort every day, I keep popping out little abdominal hernias because it has taken 18 months for the stomach muscles to knit back together, but my continued Pilates classes twice a week with the lovely and whip cracking Claire and Louise  (of Heaven & Hell Fitness) and the physiotherapy exercises are improving my level of fitness and stability all the time.

Eckart Tolle helps me to see the bigger picture and keeps me mentally on track in an insane world, and David Deida’s daily ‘Bluetruths’ remind me how to keep the flame in our relationship and sex-life burning.

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I can’t wait to be dancing again this summer… and jumping up and down without peeing myself!  lol.

This powerful poem that I love by Jewel Mathieson sums up how I feel.  Every woman would benefit from …

I HAVE COME TO DANCE!!

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We have come to Be Danced

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Not the pretty dance
 Not the pretty pretty, pick me, pick me dance
But the claw our way back into the Belly
Of the Sacred, Sensual Animal dance
The unhinged, unplugged, cat is out of its box Dance
The holding the precious moment in the palms
Of our hands and feet Dance

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We have come to Be Danced
Not the jiffy booby, shake your booty for him dance
 But the wring the sadness from our skin dance
The Blow the chip off our shoulder Dance.
The slap the apology from our posture Dance

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We have come to Be Danced
Not the monkey see, monkey do dance
One two Dance like you
 One two three, Dance like me Dance
but the grave robber, tomb stalker
Tearing scabs and scars open Dance
The rub the Rhythm Raw against our Soul Dance

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We have come to Be Danced
Not the nice, invisible, self-conscious shuffle
But the matted hair flying, Voodoo Mama
Shaman Shakin’ Ancient Bones Dance
The strip us from our casings, Return our Wings
Sharpen our Claws and Tongues Dance
The Shed Dead Cells and slip into
The Luminous Skin of Love Dance.

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We have Come to Be Danced
Not the hold our breath wallow in the shallow end of the floor dance
But the Meeting of the Trinity, the Body Breath and Beat Dance
The Shout Hallelujah from the top of our Thighs Dance
The Mother may I?
Yes you may take 10 giant Leaps Dance
 The olly olly oxen free free free Dance
The everyone can come to our Heaven Dance

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We have come to Be Danced
Where the Kingdom’s Collide
In the Cathedral of Flesh
To Burn Back into the Light
To unravel, to Play, to Fly, to Pray
To root in skin sanctuary
We have come to Be Danced

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We Have Come..

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~ by Jewel Mathieson.

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………………..O………………..

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As with a lot of my work, I aspire to gently push the viewer, including myself, to question preconceptions and socio-cultural taboos by creating something beautiful and compelling from something dead and/or socially repulsive.

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Look out for blogs on my other ART projects – SHAMANIC ROADKILL CAPE, PLACENTA  ART & COOKERY, PLACENTA BOOTIES,  PLACENTA DISCO-BOOTIES, SHAMANIC SHAKTI BEAVER MERKIN, ANTI  BADGER-CULL TRIP-TIC, ROADKILL SQUIRREL TESTICLE EARRINGS  , BURNING-MAN ASARO MUD-FAMILY PERFORMANCE ART &  JAPANESE WISHING TREE

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